Slumber-Party Fun!
by The Purple Maid
Summary: Jeanette (AKA Me!) Is throwing A slumber-party! But when do things ever go simple for her and the others? With the arrival of some crazy Larten fangirls, A murderous Steve Leonard, and a few other tricks and surprises, it's bound to be a slumber-party no one will ever forget! [Crack Fic] Dont Read Unless You've Read Book 9! SPOILERS!
1. Are We All Here?

**Hey Guys! So, this is a re-write of one of my old fics from my old account (Vampanezegirl97/The Vampaneze Lady) Don't worry, this isn't a second copy-all my fics from that account have been deleted and the account has had to be blanked (for reasons) :( **

**But hey, It's slumber party time! :)**

**P.S Jeanette is me-The purple maid ^_^**

* * *

Jeanette spun as she entered the room, her eyes scanning the area for her guests. Yes, that's right, guests-Because today Jeanette was having a party. Well, it was more of a sleepover. I guess you could have even called it a slumber-party! A slumber-party full of guests and fun-Guests and fun that we're supposed to be in her living room, but there wasn't a single person there. Upon seeing the empty room in front of her, her brows furrowed. "GUYS! WHERE ARE YOU? I KNOW YOU'RE HERE! COME OUT HERE-NOW!" Before she had even finished yelling, Darren ran through the Kitchen door-His eyes lit up with concern, obviously hoping he hadn't annoyed his host too much. "I'm here!" He smiled, sitting on the floor. "Sorry, we were in the kitchen. Just exploring, so yeah! Hi!"  
"What about the others?"

"We are here." Larten scowled, following not too far behind his young assistant, Kurda and Harkat in his shadow. "Though I would rather not be. I do not understand why Young master Shan has made me come to this ridiculous thing."

"Okay…" Jeanette paused, as her guests took seats on the floor around her. "But where are the other princes? And seba?"  
"They didn't want to come." Kurda sighed, he couldn't have sounded more disappointed. "I tried to convince them to, but they just wouldn't."  
"Oh..Then it looks like we're just waiting for steve!" Jeanette exclaimed. causing the others to stare at her in shock.  
"You invited Steve?" Darren groaned "Whhhhhy?"  
"Because…" She smirked "He said if he came he'd stop trying to kill you!"  
"I severely...doubt it…" Harkat wheezed, causing Larten to snarl.  
"If leonard is arriving, then i am leaving. I am sorry, but i do not believe it is possible for me to be in the same room as the boy without fatally injuring him." He stood up to leave, before Darren grabbed his arm and gently tugged him back down.  
"Then please, stay! I'm pretty sure we'd all like that to happen!" The young prince sneered.  
"I wouldn't!" Jeanette said matter-of-factly, Harkat laughed.  
"That's because...you're weird…"  
"No!" Kurda corrected "It's obviously because she fancies him!"  
"I do not!" She snapped back defensively, her cheeks blushing bright red "I just love the vampaneze, that's all! Not Steve!" Before the argument could go any further, they were interrupted by a knock at the door, which jeanette answered to reveal no other than blonde, baby-faced Steve Leonard. "Hey Dudes!" He grinned, stepping inside, before noticing the other people in the room. "You didn't tell me Creepy Crepsley and Demented Darren were gonna be here." Pushing Steve down to the floor, Jeanette bit her lip.  
"May have slipped my mind." She sang, but Steve wasn't listening a Darren growled.  
"Demented Darren?"  
"Yup!" Steve winked "I got bored, so i made you up a little nick-name. Like it, Shan?"  
"Could you not find any more defenseless children to slaughter?" Larten retorted, causing kurda to gasp.  
"That is enough. All of you!" He almost sang."this is all about having fun! Not arguing!"  
"But SHE-" Darren pointed an accusing finger at his hostess "Invited Steve."  
"Shut it, Shan." Jeanette frowned "Just because you're a prince doesn't mean i Can't tell you what to do."

"Oooh!" Steve's voice heightened as a evil grin spread across his face "Demented Darren's a prince now? He didn't tell me that…"  
"Quiet, Steve." Jeanette Glared "Just because I love you doesn't mean I won't rip your head straight off your shoulders. And It doesn't mean I won't make it slow and painful either." Darren sniggered at that, causing her to direct her eyes to his face. Only then did his smile vanish. "That goes for you too, Shan. In fact, it goes for everyone in this room. Now…" She smiled sweetly, taking her seat on the carpet with her friends. "Let's have some Slumber-Party Fun!"


	2. Truth Or Dare

**Chapter Two**

"I know where to start!" Jeanette almost cheered "How about a game of truth or Dare!"  
"I like it!" Steve winked, but everyone else didn't look so sure. Playing Truth or Dare with these two was NEVER a good idea.  
"C'mon guys!" Jeanette began when no one else answered, but was again interrupted by another loud knock at the door.  
"Who...could that be?" Harkat asked, but everyone else just shrugged.  
"Perhaps it is one of our other princes here to save us from this monstrosity." Larten said hopefully, but was disappointed when a teenage girl not yet in adulthood stepped through the grinned a huge smile, her cheeks seeming almost bright red, curtaining by her long light brown hair.  
"OMG! Hi Guys!" she squealed, causing steve to grimace.  
"Who's this?" He asked.  
"This-" Jeanette explained "-Is Kberry! But You can call her Rose! She's one of my friends On Fanfiction!"  
"..And...that is?" Harkat questioned.  
"It's a writing website!"She answered "Where we write things about you guys!"  
"Have you by any chance written any 'fiction' in which i find myself decapitating Mr Leonard? If so, I believe you may have the ability to tell the future." Larten nodded, it was almost as if he was actually making a joke.

"I didn't even say anything!" Steve whined, but larten shook his head.  
"As you are aware, your simple presence in this room is enough to greatly irritate me."  
"Ill tell you about that later, Larten" Jeanette winked, before asking Rose where she would like to sit. When Rose replied with "Next to larten, please." Darren snorted with laughter for the second time that night.  
"Looks like you have an admirer!" He exclaimed to his mentor, receiving himself a hard slap on the head.  
"Please, Rose." Larten smiled sweetly "Take a seat. We are about to play a game named...um…"  
"Truth or dare." Harkat nodded for the elder vampire.  
"What do you have to do?" Kurda asked, to which steve replied.  
"We take it in turns and somebody had to dare you to do something or ask you a question that you have to answer truthfully. But we're not gonna give you the option! the person asking decides whether you get truth or dare!"  
"I'll go first!" Darren yelled, flinging his hand in the air "Steve! I have a question! Do you still sleep with Mr Cuddles?" Steve blushed red, mumbling a barely audible "No." under his breath.  
"Who's Mr Cuddles?" Kurda asked curiously.  
"He's Steve's little pink teddy bear that he used to sleep with as a kid." Rose laughed. Steve was taken aback.  
"How do you know that?" He spat.  
"Oh, i know things. Besides, judging from the fact i doubt you're wearing blusher., i'd say we can take that as a yes."  
"I want...to go next…" Harkat broke the conversation before an argument erupted "Jeanette? I dare you...To kiss Darren on...the cheek!"  
"NO!" Darren screamed, and squirmed when the vampaneze grabbed him and kissed his cheek gently. "I have a girlfriend you know." He growled quietly.  
"My turn! I have a dare for Larten!" Rose declared "Larten, I dare you to cuddle me!"  
"That isn't a dare!" Steve objected "You want him to do that!" But nobody listened as Larten and his young admirer hugged. They stayed like that for a few seconds, until Larten seemed to be struggling to breathe.  
"Young Lady, would you please...let go." He puffed, to no avail.  
""Oi! Let go of creepy!" Steve ordered, and Rose obeyed, her eyes fixed in a thin glare.  
"Why do you care?" She hissed "You Hate My Larten!"  
"No reason…" Steve mumbled in response.  
"Moving On." Larten said "I have a 'dare' for Darren. Master Shan, I 'Dare' You to stand up."  
"Again, Creepy! That isn't A dare! A dare is something you don't want to do!"  
"And, knowing Master Shan as well as I do, I do not believe he will wish to use the energy required to stand on his own two legs."  
"Darren?" Karkat sighed, wanting to get things moving "Did you stand...up?"  
"No" Darren shook his head "That takes too much energy for no reason."  
"See?" Larten nodded. "I was correct."  
"Um…" Jeanette frowned again "This isn't going so well. Let's do something else?"  
"WAIT!" Steve jumped up "One last thing, i have a dare for Crepsley. Um, Larten?" Everyone stared at Steve in shock, as he had used Lartens real name, something he never did.

"Larten. I dare you to…" His voice trailed off into an almost silent buzz, hardly loud enough for everyone to hear. Though when everyone seemed to gasp almost in sync, steve was sure they had heard him.  
"Did you just say what I think you said?" Jeanette questioned in Shock.  
"I...uh…" Steve blushed again "I said i wanted Creepy to...Kill me?"  
"Even though i truly wish those were the words you spoke, they were not." Larten sighed.  
"You said you Wanted Larten to Kiss you!" Kurda pointed out, but Steve shook his head.  
"Truth, Steve." Darren demanded. "Now." Steve didn't even have time to open his mouth before Rose almost exploded with words.  
"He only says mean stuff to you because he loves you. HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE IT? He's jealous. Darren gets to spend all his time with you. HE LOVES YOU CREPSLEY!" There was silence for a few seconds before steve stuttered.  
"How...How do you do that?"  
"Do what?" Rose grinned back.  
"Know exactly what i'm going to say before I'm going to say it. You did it earlier with Mr Cuddles."  
"Yeah." Darren agreed. "It's like you can see the future. Only Mr Tiny can see the future-Well.." he paused for a second "There's evanna but she can only see little bits."  
"You are not Mr Tiny in disguise, are you?" Larten glared.  
"No, I'm Not! I hate him with his stupid wellington boots and rubbishy watchy thing!" Rose replied, causing Jeanette to stand up and nearly shout stopping the start of yet another argument.  
"She isn't! I can prove it! She wrote a story where you guys all beat him up!"  
"oh, oh!" Darren began bouncing in his seat "Can we do that for our next party game please?"  
"What?"  
"Beat up Mr Tiny!" Darren looked excited, and his fellow party goers all nodded in agreement.  
"No, sorry!" Jeanette said authoritatively. "We can't!"  
"But even I hate him…" Steve moaned.  
"Well we just can't because…uh…" She smiled innocently "He's kinda already dead?"  
"WHAT?" The others all chorused, causing her to shrug.  
"He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. You have no evidence against me."  
"Right…" Darren nodded.  
"Um, Does no one care what I just said?" Rose asked.

"Which bit?" Steve replied.  
"The bit where I said What you feel about Larten?"  
"Yeah Steve…" Darren smirked "How do you really feel about Mr Crepsley?" Steve to a deep breath, turning to the ginger haired vampire, and hurried through his sentence worrying that if he paused to breathe he wouldn't be able to finish it off.  
"Okay. I only say mean stuff to you because I love you. HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE IT? I'm jealous. Darren gets to spend all his time with you. I LOVE YOU CREPSLEY!" And then there was only silence.

**By the Way, just pointing Out, this story isn't slash ^_^ **


	3. Annoyance

**Chapter Three**

"Riiiight…." Jeanette echoed what Darren had said just moments before, laughing nervously and adding "Let's just move on?"  
"What? How? No." Larten growled "Leonard, come here." Larten bounced to his feet, reaching to grab Steve, who immediately let out a scream so high pitched it could have belonged to a young girl. Running around the room, away from the vampire, he screamed cries of help, to which Darren, Kurda and Harkat all responded with a simple "No." whilst rose added,  
"You deserve it for trying to Steal My Larten."

"No he doesn't!" Jeanette snapped back "You didn't mean it, did you Steve?"

"I do not care if he meant his words or not!" Mr Crepsley yelled, before turning his attention back to Steve "Come here, You Daft Vampaneze!"  
"STOP!" Jeanettes voice filled the room, causing everyone to freeze. "Good," she continued "now Larten sit down or leave. Steve come and sit next to me...away from Crepsley. Darren, Kurda, Harkat, stop laughing. And Rose, stop trying to hug Larten please." She requested to the other girl, who during her speech had snuck up to the older vampire and was trying to cuddle him-failing as he kept pushing her away.  
"I'm just making sure he's alright." She defended herself.  
"I am fine." Larten assured her "Now leave me alone before I kill you as well."  
"But...But...I love you, Larten…" She sobbed, but was ignored by the others, who quickly moved on from the situation when darren questioned,  
"Can we do something fun now?"  
"Why don't we do some orienteering?" Was Kurdas only suggestion, but everyone just turned to him in confusion.  
"What?" Darren asked, and when the blonde general responded with "Maps" Everyone groaned in synchronization.  
"Perhaps we could Murder Master Leonard?" Larten Suggested gleefully. Steve hid behind Jeanette in fear, causing her to shake her head.  
"Stop it larten!" She ordered.  
"You cannot tell me what to do. You are not a prince. I am leaving." He stood to leave, but Darren dragged him back down for, again, the second time that night.  
"She may not be. But I am. We're staying."  
"But you are my assistant. And you must follow my orders. We are leaving."  
"No." Darren insisted.  
"Fine. But you shall regret this decision in the morning, you annoying little brat."  
"That is it!" Jeanette shouted "I can't deal with this anymore! All you do is argue! Everyone Out!"  
"But, Jeanetttte…" Steve Pleaded, placing himself back in his seat "Can't we just do something? Please? Then we'll stop arguing!"  
"Fine." Jeanette said angrily, "But you lot aren't very...well... up to date with cool stuff, so why don't we play cards?"  
"Oooh, lets play snap!" Rose smiled, following Jeanettes instructions and getting the box of cards from the table, as jeanette explained to everyone the rules of the simple card game.  
"it's easy." She said "We take it in turns to put the cards down and when the two cards are the same you hit the deck and say snap." When everyone nodded, Rose began dealing the cards, until every guest there had an equal amount. Taking it in turns, they each began placing their cards in a pile, until two of them matched.  
"SNAP!" Kurda yelled, dropping his body so he was laid flat on the ground, spread out like a starfish.  
"What the hell are you doing?" Steve raised his eyebrow.  
"Well, You said we had to hit the deck. Like on a boat? Lay down?"  
"No you idiot!" He sighed at the vampires stupidity "Hit the deck of Cards. With your hands!" Kurda sat up slowly, embarrassed, his face hiding behind a curtain of his long blonde hair.  
"You guys are mental." Jeanette shook her head "How about we just forget the games and get something to eat? Do we all like pizza?" Larten furrowed his brows in confusion.  
"What is Pizza?"  
"It's food that goes really well with chips.." Rose explained "Like you go really well with me." Darren burst into laughter at that receiving another slap from his mentor.  
"Y'know what, I don't even care." Jeanette scowled "I'm ordering pizza, and you'll eat it or starve." Then, leaving the others alone for a few minutes, she ran off to grab her phone and order the food. The night was bound to get better soon, after all, nothing could ever go wrong when there was pizza involved.


	4. Arguments And Fights

**Chapter Four**

A few minutes later, Jeanette walked back into the room, phone in hand. "Right!" She grinned "I've ordered two pepperonis, and two cheese pizzas! But-" She continued "It's going to take over an hour to deliver, so i'm going to collect them. Can i trust you all here by yourselves?" When everyone nodded, she smiled again "Good! Kurda, you're in charge!"  
"WHAT?" Steve jumped to his feet "NO! why aren't I in charge?" he growled.  
"Or me I'm a prince!" Darren added.  
"And i Am the most respected here…" Larten nodded, causing steve to snort.  
"Or me!" Rose whined. Jeanette sighed.  
"Steve-" She explained "You're not in charge because I don't trust you. Darren ,you may be a prince but you're a bit...well...uh, childish. Larten, i was going to put you in charge but i figured when i came back Steve would be a pile of ashes on the floor, and rose-because this isn't the cuddle Larten show!"  
"But..he's so cuddly!" Rose squeaked, budging closer to the vampire.  
"Right…" Jeanette shook her head, before walking towards the front door "I'm leaving, I'll be ten minutes. Do as Kurda says, and please try not to kill each other."  
"We can try," Steve muttered, glancing towards Mr Crepsley, as their hostess left the house.  
"uh...Now what do we do?" Darren asked, and everyone just shrugged.

Ten minutes later, the room was a mess-the furniture had been overturned, and drinks had been spilt. Steve jumped, narrowly avoiding the chair that blocked his path, as Larten ran away him, knife in hand. At first sight it would have appeared that he was trying to kill the vampaneze, but when inspected closer, people may have realised that-as well as doing that-he was also trying to escape rose, who was chasing him, arms outstretched ready to cuddle. The three of them skidded around the room, being careful to avoid Darren and Harkat-who were wrestling, with Darren obviously losing-and Kurda, who was sat in the middle of the floor playing cards with himself, or at least trying to. Jeanette entered her house, balancing boxes of pizza in her hands. "STOP!" She yelled, and not for the first time that night, everyone-apart from Kurda-froze. "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?"  
"Well-" Darren began, but she cut him off.  
"Not You. Kurda, what happened?"  
"when you left we got bored so I asked if anyone wanted to play cards again. Both Harkat and Darren said they did but we didn't know what to play, they started arguing about it and well...it got into a fight." Kurda replied simply, not looking up from his 'card game'.  
"Well. you didn't tell us to stop!" Darren pointed out.  
"I told you to stop about one hundred times!" Kurda retorted, dropping his cards all over the floor.  
"Rose?" Jeanette sighed"What's happening over there?"  
"I don't know…" Rose shrugged "Kurda went to the bathroom and me, Harkat and Darren went to get something to drink. We came back and these two were practically murdering each other…"  
"Larten? Why?" Jeanette demanded an answer.  
"Because he is a-" Larten Began, but she interrupted him.  
"I've heard enough. Now you're not getting any pizza."  
"But i am hungry." He moaned, he sounded almost like Steve did to Gannen.  
"Do i still get pizza?" Steve asked, with puppy dog eye, and received a nod from jeanette.  
"But…" Rose began "Please can my Larten have some pizza?" She pleaded "It wasn't his fault. Steve DID threaten to rip his head off."  
"Steve" Jeanette scowled "Is this true?"  
"No…" he mumbled.  
"Tell me, steve."  
"Fine! Yes!" He admitted "But-" Jeanette sighed again.  
"Fine, crepsley. You can have some pizza."  
"Thank you." Larten smiled politely "And thank you, Rose." Rose's eyes shone with hope  
"Does this mean you're my friend now?" She gasped, and screamed in excitement when he nodded at her.  
"Ahh, look at this!" Steve laughed "Creepy Crepsley's got a girlfriend!"  
"Just because you're jealous!" Darren stuck out his tongue.  
"Oi, I am not!"  
"QUIET!" Jeanette yelled, "Now, for our next activity, we're gonna clean up this room! But before that," he pointed towards the pizza boxes "We need to eat!" And no more was said as everyone greedily devoured every last scrap of food there.


	5. Larten's Mine!

**Chapter Five**

The pizza had been eaten, and the room was now sparkling clean. No one was happy about having to do chores at a slumber-party, but, hey-it was their mess, so they had to clean it.

"That's better, isn't it?" Jeanette gestured towards the space which only moments earlier had been filled with random slumber party clutter.

"Yes." Darren sighed, as though reluctant to admit he was quite glad he had spent the past ten minutes scrubbing the floor; it had given him something to do, at least. Steve wasn't in agreement, and had spent the entire time moaning about how "tiring and boring" it was, but it didn't matter now, because the place was clean.  
"Now," Jeanette took a seat back on the floor, and everyone else followed. "What d'you wanna do now?"  
"Uh…we could play hide...and seek?" Harkat suggested. Steve shook his head.  
"That's a kids game!" He retorted.  
"How about Kiss chase?" Rose batted her eyelids at Larten. Everyone immediately declined her suggestion.  
"I have an idea!" Jeanette exclaimed, "It's a little boring, but it's better than nothing!" Upon her instructions, all of the males rummaged through the items in the room, trying to find adequate materials to use as blindfolds. Once they were all blindfolded, and unable to see, she ran upstairs-before coming back down holding what was obviously her makeup case and a bag of face paints. Rose smiled mischievously, knowing exactly what the other girl had planned. The girls got to work-using their makeup skills to, despite the boys protests make them look as beautiful as they wanted them to. Well, I say beautiful, i actually mean they doodled on their faces. Just as they finished, Steve began to get bored, "Can I take my blindfold off now?" he whined, and whipped it off quick as a flash when the girls said yes. Jeanette held up a hand mirror-the one out of her make up case, allowing Steve to see his face. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?" He screamed, causing Jeanette and Rose to burst out laughing. His face was now bright purple, with Red circling the parts of the eyes Jeanette could reach when he had his blindfold on.  
"Well…" Jeanette began "I've turned you into a real vampaneze! Don't you like it?"

"NO, OF COURSE I DON'T LIKE IT!" Steve burst out, as if his glare didn't make that fact "obvious enough.

"I take it he has taken his blindfold off? I will take mine off too, then." As soon as Larten had become alerted to the fact that Steve could see what the girls had done to him, he too wanted to. Accepting the hand mirror which Jeanette passed to him with a smirk, he stared at his new facial design with a mixture of fear and confusion. Rose had carefully drawn a love heart on his right cheek, and adorned his scar with a variety of swirls. "...what have you done, Rose?" he finally questioned, once he'd touched his face and seen the red paint come away on his hand to ensure that yes, that was him with the pretty girly make up all over him.

"I think it looks nice!" Rose defended her style choices.

"I hate to admit it, but the swirls do actually look nice. Thank you."

"You actually like it?" Rose practically squealed with surprise, before composing herself and adding "Wait, of course you do! I did it!"

"Can we see what you've done to us yet?" Kurda asked, he was tired of being blindfolded and was sure the other two dreamed of a world without blindfolds too.  
"Pleaaase?" Harkat and Darren added in unison.

"Fine." Jeanette sighed. The three boys, after receiving her approval, pulled the tied cloth from their heads to find that they matched. The girls had drawn identical pairs of fangs coming from each of their mouths with red blood dripping from them.

Darren was the first to comment on the situation. "Very funny." he said, with totally no hint of sarcasm whatsoever.

"Hey, i like it!" Kurda said happily-it was possibly the most happy anyone had seen him since the start of the slumberparty.

"Well of course you do." Darren said sulkily, clearly not appreciating the irony of the vampire face paint.

"What about you, Harkat?" asked Rose. "Do you like yours?"

"Yes actually-they're cool."

"See Darren, he's not complaining!"

"Shut it." Darren snapped. Before the matter could be taken any further, there came a knock at the door.

"Who's that?" Jeanette asked to no one in particular-just the group as a whole, really.

"How should I know?" muttered Steve, angrily attempting to wipe off his makeup.

"Shut it Leonard." she opened the door to reveal none other than...Sarah, another fellow fanfictioner, the resided under the name "Dead L E"!

"Hi!" Everyone bar Jeanette chorused, eager to welcome this new girl into their gathering, although when Sarah proceeded to shout

"Hi everyone! Hi Larten!" happily-Rose became less so eager.

"Looks like you've got another admirer." Darren pointed out to his mentor-and as if anyone needed any more proof that Sarah was indeed another one of Larten's admirers, she pulled a pair of bright red shoes out of her bag and proclaimed

"Ive got you a gift, Larten! I know you like red." Larten accepted the shoes gratefully with a 'thank you' and kissed Sarah on the cheek. Not to be outdone-Rose grabbed ahold of her bag and rummaged around, revealing a t-shirt she had made specially for him.

"Thank you." Larten said, kissing her on the cheek as well, before looking at the tshirt, turning it over in his hands with a bemused expression.

"Does that say what i think it says?" Steve asked.

"Yes." Darren had burst out laughing the moment he had seen the t-shirt. "Read it aloud, will you Larten?"

"I can't read-but on the back it does have a picture of me ripping Steve's head off."

"Well, it says 'I hate Steve Leonard." Darren was still laughing.

"WHAT?"

"Leonard!"

"Please...a tshirt? Shoes are SO much better." Sarah shook her head at Rose's-in her opinion-quite unsatisfactory present.

"Yeah, but he'll have to take his shoes off when he climbs Vampire Mountain." shot back Rose.

"But he'll have to take his t-shirt off as well."

There was a momentary pause where both girls imagined this.

"...but my t-shirt has the best picture and writing ever on it."

"But that's just a waste. He can't read the writing anyway!"

"But he can see the picture. Ha!"

"But the picture's on the back of the t-shirt."

"But…"

"SHUT UP!" Jeanette yelled, silencing the bickering pair. "Leave Larten alone."

"No! Larten's mine!" Sarah continued to argue.

"I saw him first."

"...i loved him first."

"No you did not. I threw a fit when he died."

"What?" exclaimed Larten, confused about why his death had suddenly come into the picture. This wasn't a conversation between Jeanette and Steve, after all. Ignoring Larten's confusion, Sarah continued.

"So? I cried."

"I threw my book at the wall in anger."

"I sent an angry email to Darren Shan."

This time it was Darren who uttered a confused "...what?" yet he too was ignored.

"So what? I...I…"

"You what?"

"I...I...leave me alone!"

"You leave me alone."

"BOTH leave each other alone." came the authoritative voice of Jeanette, leaving the other two girls muttering to themselves respectively "Larten shall be mine…"


	6. Poems

**Chapter Six**

"Im bored, i'm bored, i'm bored…" Steve complained, after the excitement of the argument over Larten had begun to wear off.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up…" Darren said, not enjoying Steve's whining voice breaking the silence.

"Make peace…" began Kurda, before-

"QUIET!" Harkat shouted, stunning everyone into silence by the sheer volume in which he could yell. Nobody expected quite such a big voice from such a little person.

"Whoa, i didn't know you could shout THAT loud!"

"Coooooooooooool."

"So, are we all friends now?" asked Jeanette calmly, although everyone knew what answer she was expecting them to give, and what would happen if they didn't give it.

"YES!" chorused Kurda and Harkat, whereas Darren and Larten sighed "I suppose" defeatedly-and Steve mumbled "I guess so…" barely audible for anyone to hear. Rose and Sarah, however, stayed silent.

"Good. Sarah? Rose?"

"NEVER." the two girls glared at each other, each of them vowing that they would be the one to win the love of Larten.

"You will be."

"No we won't." Rose put it simply.

"We will only be friends with Larten." added Sarah.

"Why the heck do you want Creepy? I mean, look at him?" Upon hearing Steve's so very anti-Larten words, both Sarah and Rose glared at him evilly, and as one, as though they had practiced for this, stood up and ran at Steve, chasing the vampaneze into the kitchen.

"AAAH!" he yelled, whilst Darren and Harkat struggled to contain their laughter. "Stop it!"

"He deserves it. I am starting to like these two girls more and more."

"Violence isn't the answer. Stop fighting and talk." Kurda said to no avail-for as expected, nobody took any notice of his peaceful words.

"What is...your problem Kurda? Let them fight…" Harkat shook his head at the blonde.

It was at that moment that Sarah and Rose returned to the room. They were smiling, and followed by a dishevelled looking Steve, out of breath and covered in several cuts and bruises.

"Steve, are you okay?" Jeanette asked, looking slightly concerned. (but not too much)

"It was horrible…"

"Come off it." Darren scoffed. " You should have been able to beat them easily."

"Have YOU ever been attacked by angry fangirls?"

"Er...no?"

"Then you are the luckiest man alive." Steve concluded.

"Right...so what do you want to do now?" Jeanette asked the room once again.

"Uh...well i have another gift for Larten!" Sarah said excitedly, hoping for a chance to one up Rose.

"Why does he get all the gifts?" Darren muttered.

"because he's totally awesome!" Sarah smiled and turned to Larten. "Do you want the gift?"

"I might as well. The shoes and t-shirt were very nice."

"That isn't what I'd say about them." Steve said, pouting, causing Sarah to shush him.

"Now…"

"What the heck are you doing?" asked Darren, giving her a weird look. In answer, she cleared her throat, and began to recite a poem.

"If Violets were red,

And roses were blue,

I'd give the violets,

That's how well I know you,

But since roses are red,

And violets are blue,

I'll give you the roses,

Larten, I love you!"

"What-what WAS that?" Steve laughed. Darren, also laughing, told Steve that it was "funny, thats what it was." before asking Sarah what the gift was.

"The poem was the gift. Didn't you like it?" she asked Larten sadly, afraid he found it just as funny as Steve and Darren did-and in a bad way.

"It was-er-very nice. Thank you."

"...you hated it!" Sarah was near crying.

"Obviously, its not as good as my poem!" Rose said smugly, preparing to recite one of her own.

"Where do...all these gifts...keep coming from?"

"You know about as much as i do, Harkat…" sighed Kurda.

Rose cleared her throat, and then began.

"First impressions are usually completely wrong.

That's one thing I learnt from you.

You were an orange haired blood drinker

Dressed in the devil's blood red

Seen through the terrified eyes of a child.

You could run like the wind through the dark night

Your face had the paleness from a life without light.

But as time went on I learnt what was true

You tried to hide so people couldn't see the real you.

Like a red Rose standing in solitude, beautiful and pure

But covered in thorns so as to be sure

That no one could get close for fear they might find

A blemish on the beauty

But it's all in your mind.

You're magnificent in more ways than one

The light of the vampire world in the place of the sun.

I'll always forgive you if you make a mistake

What comes I'll always take.

You are brave, you are just

But you are strong

Remember you have to be good

To feel regret for a wrong.

Your heart has taken so many hits

I think it's amazing that it's not been battered to bits

You can try not to smile

Hide your light behind an eclipse

But I love to see a laugh tug at your lips.

You are selfless yet modest

Right up to the end.

I won't ask for your heart

Because I can never own you

But I will offer you mine in the vain hope that it's worth something

Even if next to yours it is practically nothing.

I know that the great works of Shakespeare are a love of yours

Alas I can't write or speak great words like him, but I can say what is true

Larten Crepsley-I love you."

"Wow...that was cool!" Darren exclaimed as soon as Rose recited her final line.

"This is so unfair!" complained Sarah, "Wait…" she paused, thinking for a moment or two, before declaring "I have another poem!"

"Where are all these poems even coming from?" Jeanette wondered aloud. "I mean, you didn't even know you'd need them."

"I'm always prepared." Rose informed her.

"Listen to my other poem!" Sarah shushed the group once more, in preparation for her second recital. "I could tell you a thousand times,

that there is no word to describe,

How I feel, but there is,

Larten... I love you.

The truth is that no word

will make you comprehend,

how much,

Larten... I love you.

Just four letters, loud and clear,

But yet you won't ever get close,

to how dearly,

Larten... I love you."

"Enough with the poems already…" Darren was the first to comment, but it was obvious by his bitter tone that he was just jealous that none of the poems were about him.

"Aww, that last one was really sweet!" Jeanette smiled at Sarah and her adorable poem.

"Who's was better, Larten?" Rose asked, in the sort of "of course you're going to say mine was better, ARENT you?" way.

"They were all equally as good."

"NO!" Sarah and Rose yelled, obviously unsatisfied with the diplomatic answer that Larten gave.

"Can we...do something other than...poems please?"

"Yes, why don't we…" Jeanette began, but Steve had other ideas.

"STOP! I have a poem for Creepy."

"What?" Darren looked taken aback. "Its not a love poem...is it?"

"Of course not." Steve spat, disgusted by the very idea. "Listen. Stupid creepy Crepsley,

You ruined my life.

You and my 'best friend',

Caused a massive strife.

I hate the both of you,

You and your assistant,

I and he were close,

But now were really distant.

You ruined my life,

You stole my best friend.

And now I really hate you,

And I shall make your end.

I'll kill you when I get the chance,

I'll stake you through the heart.

Killing vampires isn't a skill,

It's more like a deadly art.

An art in which I always win,

In which I defeat my foes,

This is your entire fault,

Because of the boy you chose.

You schemed with him all along,

You chose him instead of me.

You said that I was evil,

And a vampire I could never be.

One day I shall get my revenge,

I'll kill the both of you.

This could be avoided if you do one thing,

I want to become a vampire too…"

"When the heck did you write that?" Darren raised his eyebrow at the vampaneze. "It must have been AGES ago…"

"...the night you betrayed me."

"I hate you too Steve!" Larten put in.

"Shut up Creepy."

"Do you still want to be a vampire? I'm sure something could be arranged…" Darren said sarcastically, causing Steve to yell "SHUT UP!" more forcefully at him this time.

"Stop fighting! That was really good, Steve." Jeanette said, sounding more like a teacher praising her student than she perhaps meant to.

"It WOULD have been if you hadn't threatened to kill Larten."

"Shut up about Larten!" Jeanette told the two Larten fangirls firmly.

"No."

"Never."

"I cannot take this anymore." Larten said suddenly, turning to Darren, and whispering "Time to initiate that stupid plan of yours."

"Which one?"

"The one you created when…" he lowered his voice even more for this part, leaving his words unintelligible to the rest of the group bar his assistant.

"Oh…"


End file.
